You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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