At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize
