The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
