I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Randomize
