i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
Randomize
