oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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