whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I am mentally ready for anal.
Randomize
