I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
