Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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