I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Randomize
