You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
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