Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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