were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize
