it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Randomize
