I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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