she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
