Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Randomize
