he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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