erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
