Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
