I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Randomize
