just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
Randomize
