I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
