he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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