she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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