; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
