Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
