Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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