i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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