god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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