she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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