but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
