Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just found a bag of teeth...
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
Randomize
