FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
