i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You were so drunk that some guy dressed as Harry Potter pointed his wand at you and screamed "Accio SHITSHOW"
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
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