I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
