k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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