Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
I think I have vodka in my lungs
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
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