i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
