my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
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