i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
