Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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