Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
