Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
