I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
Randomize
