she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
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