Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Randomize
