...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
