I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Randomize