This is not my ceiling
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
