i just had sex bonerless
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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