i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
