she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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