I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Randomize
