it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
