Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
